moving on and up

So, my life coaching exam is due in 3 days and I have been thinking about this a lot, but it is time to get it into solid form, so it can be shared and reflected on.

My life coaching learning experience was more than I had expected, I am able to really hone into my triggers, what gets me going and what makes me put the brakes on. There were a few books that we were asked to read during our time and to be honest, I didn’t get all the way through a single one of them, but I am able to think about why that is, other than just casting it off as me being lazy or too busy. Each book had different appeal, from the cover art, to the quizzes, to the stories, but even books that had a lot of promise have ended up back on the shelf. I vow that one day I will crack them open again and dig my teeth into them, when I am ready.

One book “Find Your Purpose, Change Your Life” I was reading this book travelling on the subway, and I thought about how people might look at the book and think something of it, but at the same time I was secure in knowing that I was doing this for a good reason, I strongly think that everyone has work to do on themselves and finding purpose always seems so looming, but once you start having the conversation with yourself, your life does change. As I was reading this book, a woman on the subway eyeballs me and then leans over and finally sits next to me, turns out to be my mother-in-law. She took a glance at the book, smirked and asked me why I was reading it, I told her it was for class and that there is a lot to learn from it. I was surprised that I could articulate calmly and confidently, I wasn’t at all embarrassed and in fact, I have recommended the book to my mom as a way for our family to start talking more.

One of the things that became increasingly apparent throughout this process, was my resistance towards science. It is ironic that I have an Architectural Science degree. Throughout the course, we talked about the brain a lot and often, I would shut down when we started talking about neurons and pathways, but I was interested in talk about behaviours and reactions. This is a prime example of the how my brain was working for and against me. I know that the science will help me back up my work on left-brain, right-brain activities, I know it helps me to hone the left-brain skills for certain tasks, but somehow I can not quite getting all that into my brain…funny how that works.

Our weekends were consumed with amazing conversation and bonding, we spoke of happiness, intuition, self-care and stress and health, these are concepts that I can now tangibly relate to myself. Happiness is a constant state of wanting more and growing from that place, it is a feeling that we relish when it happens and seek when it is missing. Happiness is a practice and there is always more to be had, I don’t think you can be too happy. Intuition is the gut feeling that we can confidently put into action, it is the knowing that comes from deep within us, but we can’t quite put our finger on it sometimes. It is a trust that we have with ourselves. Self-care is a practice that only we can control, we make our schedules or non-schedules in my case, and then we feel overwhelmed. We can often let our professional work get in the way of our personal work, but then it all suffers. Sometimes, you have to take time for a massage or an ice cream sundae, it’s just the way it is. Stress & health are closely related and often intertwined. Like a marriage, there is a lot of compromise and a lot of communication. Sometimes, stress takes advantage of health when and over steps a boundary and will have to make up for it with extra quality time together.

I am the kind of learner that has to do to really learn. As we discussed concepts like intuition, neuroplasticity and mindfulness; I felt like I was able to see them all come to life through experiences. As we discussed intuition, I actually thought initially that I wasn’t that intuitive. But as the weeks rolled by, I was able to really grasp what that meant and see in fact that I was actually fairly intuitive and often lead with my emotions and heart far before my head. Recognizing this in myself has made me analyze decisions I make but also be able to understand that while I may not have had all the facts sorted out, I knew that in my gut whether a decision was right for me. Neuroplasticity borders on the danger zone of science talk and therefore it can feel daunting, but when I think of it as play-doh and the fact that our brain is malleable and that the pathways are habits and we can decide how those habits are formed and stick. Play-doh is something that I know others find scary, when I bring play-doh to a grown-up session and ask them to play, it often borders on their assumptions of appropriate and then I am able to see that habits come in so many shapes and sizes and that with opportunities our brains can create new pathways, even if it is by using flourescent pink play-doh! I think the hardest hitting lesson was mindfulness. Right after we went over the concepts, I was at home and hubby was coming home from a party. Then it was 1am and he still wasn’t home, so I called and he said, “5 more minutes”. I really should have known that that wasn’t going to hold true. So when 4am rolled around and I woke up to find him just coming through the door, I had to calm myself down knowing that I was going to have to get up in 4 hours and go back to class. Phew! It took all my might to not get in a big fight and to tell him how worried I was that he said he would be home earlier, blah blah blah. Since then, that lesson always reminds me of how we are responsible for how we react and that the emotional feeling may not be avoidable but what comes after is.

I truly think that my strength as a life coach is that I can admit that I am going through it all myself. I am in a constant state of learning, I am relishing my new found passion for education and all the forms it comes it. I think life coaching has so many uses, whether it be for personal growth, relationship management or professional development. Each concept can be explored and pored over till you finally get it all to stick.


	    

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